When March started, my two big goals were to rework some of our routines and rhythms that I had gotten either too slack or too militant about, and to fully prep the garden for spring seeds. I felt really good about it all until John quit his job and we pulled Ali out of school within the same 12 hour period. To be fair, both of those things did mean finding new rhythms, but not in the way I expected.
And then we had to put our dog down.
Lola had an inoperable cancer on her leg. The tumor was growing rapidly, and the vet told us that a day would come when it opened up, and we wouldn’t be able to treat it then either. When it opened, they said, that was the kindest time for us to put her down. She was hanging out with us in the kitchen last Wednesday night while I primed the cabinets, when it suddenly opened, and John and I knew it was time. We wrapped it overnight, told the kids the next morning, and spent a good few hours just cuddling her and feeding her all her favorite snacks before going to the vet. Even though we knew it was coming, it still felt sudden, and we’re still adjusting to not having her to love.
Ali is handling the transition home well. There were big feelings at first over the suddenness of the change, and while we corrected the “your stupid, ugly and no one likes you” narrative the bullies had fed her throughout the year. A zero tolerance policy isn’t actually a zero tolerance policy if the real policy is “stop or I’ll say stop again”. We had safety concerns too, as the kids had been harassed at recess by some of the local homeless population, and the school year started with multiple code yellows being called and the kids being locked down in class. It was just not a great learning environment all around, and we’re very happy to have her home again.
It was truly God’s provision and sovereign timing that provided a job offer 5 days before he reached a complete breaking point at his last one.
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